Adventures on the Nairobi Streets

"We shall not finally defeat AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria, or any of the other infectious diseases that plague the developing world until we have also won the battle for safe drinking water, sanitation and basic health care." Kofi Annan

So it’s about time I explain the adventures of getting around Nairobi. Case in point: my trip to and from work every day, featuring: Elly, the awesome driver (for those keen blog readers, you may remember Elly from the Kenyan birthday party fiasco).

Elly shows up in the work van every day at 710 to pick me up for work. Granted, 710 is when he should arrive, but due to Nairobi rush hour traffic, this can be as late as 725. I am the first stop on the route, so I hop in the front seat and off we roar down the road.

Now, a few words about the roads in Nairobi. First of all, cars drive on the other side of the road, like in the UK. It has been over a week, and I still feel like I’m on some horrifying amusement park ride, with cars flying at you every direction. I’ve literally braced myself for a crash dozens of times, I just can’t adjust.

Second of all, even if I wasn’t all backwards about what side of the road people should be on, I’d still be bracing every second of the road, because people drive like maniacs here. I’m serious, I’ve never seen anything like it. I remember being shocked at the driving in Mexico, it truly reminds me now of a Sunday drive in the country compared to the way people drive here. In Nairobi, there are basically no traffic signs at all. Except for right in the downtown core, there are no traffic lights, and even then, people don’t follow them. Many intersections are basically 4 way stops, only NO ONE stops! It’s basically a giant free-for-all, the most aggressive driver wins. Every intersection is basically like a game of chicken: winner gets through the intersection, loser doesn’t, and quite possibly gets a ding in his bumper in the meantime.

The third interesting point about the Nairobi roads is that intersections that don't have lights have roundabouts. The roundabouts in town have traffic cops directing people in the mornings during rush hour, so they are realatively hassle-free, but the ones outside of the downtown core are unlike anything you could even imagine. Cars have to but in and out, and they all have at least 2 lanes going around them, so if you are trying to make a right turn, you have to get into the outer lane, weave into the inside lane, and then weave back out in time to get out of the circle. It's intense and dizzying, to say the least!

So fourth, if you can deal with the backwards lanes, the lack of signage and the roundabouts, you have to deal with the most intense potholes and speed bumps known to man. There are acutally craters in the streets. Right downtown, its not too bad, but the second you are out of downtown, the roads become the most harrowing things you have ever seen. The trip to the scout office takes us down a long dirt country road, we literally zig zag down the road and half into ditches trying to avoid the potholes, all the while at breakneck speeds.

Yep, thats the clincher: despite all of the drawbacks of the Nairobi streets, the drivers all go faster than you could imagine. If we went slower than 80km/h traveling through town, I'd be amazed. The most shocking part is that there are people EVERYWHERE. As many bicycles as there were on the Amsterdam streets, thats how many pedestrians there are in Nairobi. And they own the roads. They run out in front of cars without batting an eye, there are no such things as crosswalks here.

So, that summarizes the situation on the Nairobi streets. Now back to my ride to work...

I jump in the car with my travel mug of tea every morning, and Eli hands me the newspaper of the dash (oh right, I forgot to mention all the "hawkers", men and women who walk the streets in rush hour traffic selling everything from newspapers to fruit to shoes). So yes, Elly hands me the newspaper, and off we roar into the downtown core to pick up the next few coworkers. Then back out of town and down the LONG main road. We stop to pick up others at bus stops along the way. Whenever we stop, Elly asks me about whats happening in the world, and I fill him in about the most intersting tidbits of news for that particular day. For the record, the news is ALWAYS THE SAME: people are poor, people are angry, the police and government are corrupt, someone got kidnapped, someone got found...

Finally, we head down the long dirt road that takes us towards the office, which is basically in the middle of the jungle ( I'm tempted to call it a forest, it looks just like a forest, but instead of squirrels, its filled with monkeys, and I don't think monkeys live in forests??). We pass the turnoff for work, and head into Kibera, the slums, where we pick up a few more coworkers. They always jump into the van in suits and ties, carrying their briefcases...You definately can't make assumptions about people's situations here, the best dressed, kindest people at the office apparently live in the biggest slum in Africa... it's hard to believe...

Then we get to work, and all pile out of the van and head into work for the day. The real fun is on the ride home. Just as I am the first picked up in the morning, I am the last one picked up at night (gotta love those 11 hour days). I had the most fun yet in Kenya yesterday on the drive home. Elly and Amos were in the front seat, I was in the row behind them. After we dropped off the last girl, they took the back roads back to the hotel. This means no traffic, but colossal speed bumps. I had my headphones in my ears, and we started bumping so hard down this road, that I started laughing out loud. It truly put me into hysterics. It was so bumpy, and we were driving so fast that I could not stop laughing for the life of me. They got a huge kick out of this, and purposely took the pot-holiest drive home just because I was getting such a kick out of it!

On this long winded detour, we ended up driving past this regal-looking estate. Turns out, the President of Kenya is my neighbour. Yep, less than a km away from our hotel is the White House of Kenya. I was thrilled by this, and proclaimed that I could basically "run over for a cup of sugar", which gave the guys a good laugh.

While I realize this post probably fills you all with dread for my physcial well-being, I assure you, all things considered, I feel very safe on the roads. You definately need to be an agressive driver to be succuessful on these roads, and I must give Elly credit, I've never seen driving like that in my life. Truth be told, I'd feel less safe with someone who drove less like a maniac!

Anyway, to make a long story short(haha!), I get pretty lonely and cooped up in my cubicle at work all day, but theres nothing like a crazy, fun work van ride home to end the day on a happy note.